NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FROM 2011 - A VERY EMBARRASSING LIST FROM MY IPHONE

  1. Finish watching the Janus box set
    ...graduation gift in 2009; 50 films, watched none of 'em.
  2. Buy a new duvet.
    Starting small. Good thing, too, because I did not actually succeed at this one.
  3. Go to the dentist, doctor, optometrist, dermatologist, gastroenterologist, etc.
    Ok. Not really resolutions.
  4. Be a better son and a more active brother and uncle.
    Nice but pretty vague.
  5. Be a better boyfriend.
    Got a little vague...
  6. Be a better worker
    Very vague.
  7. Be not in America for one month
    This is something only a poor person with no chance in hell of doing this would write. More dream than resolution. But nice. I was 23.
  8. Go on a road trip to a city you've never been
    I did not have a license nor a car. This didn't happen.
  9. Spend one day a month doing something in nature
    Again, vague, didn't happen.
  10. Take a dance class
    ??????
  11. Perform stand-up comedy
    ...
  12. Cook twice a week.
    Yeah, nice thought, again. But, no, this did not happen.
  13. Spend less time online than you do offline
    Nope.
  14. Take your time.
    Nope.
  15. Get a manicure and pedicure.
    May have happened. I am good at tackling manageable goals.
  16. Get acupuncture
    ...
  17. See a dermatologist
    Very important. Mentioned twice.
  18. Learn to say sorry
    Nope.
  19. Learn not to say sorry when you don't mean it. At all.
    First year of my four year long distance relationship.
  20. Lactaid.