1. Butt massages
    In order of greatness: 1. Garlic bread 2. Not dying 3. Butt massages
  2. Fine cheeses
    Alternative baby names I would give to my children: Bleu, Gruyere, Chevre, Gorgonzola.
  3. Fantasizing about having children.
    Plot twist: my children are baby sloths (obvi)
  4. Sweatpants without underwear
    Luxuries of the poor and unknown