HOW TO THROW UP

This is just a list of mistakes I've made...
  1. Chase vodka with salsa!
    Also a great combo for disfiguring your enemies.
  2. Day-drink white wine, then switch to gin in the evening. All evening.
    Realize your mistake halfway through a bottle of wine. Reaffirm belief that ordering wine in a bar is beyond stupid. Remain in denial of lethal combination. You can't make up your mind when it's your turn to order. Gin + T's seem to be the only cocktail now. Drink 4 well gin + tonics. Die. Repeat for half a summer.
  3. Stuff yourself with delicious food, guzzle as many beers as you can and immediately have vigorous sex on top of your partner.
    Make sure to pop the screen out of the closest window first. You'll never make it to the bathroom.