SIMPLE THINGS I CAN'T DO

  1. Tear duct tape without scissors
    If you don't need scissors, are you magic?
  2. Swim underwater without holding my nose
    A tough pill to swallow for the girl who wanted to be the Little Mermaid.
  3. Roll my R's
    If my classmates knew me only from Spanish class they'd have thought I was mute - no way was I going to linguistically embarrass myself.
  4. Tie off a balloon
    Granted I haven't already passed out from inflating said balloon, I then have to hold it like a helpless child until someone skilled comes along.
  5. Cut along the dotted line
    Aka sorcery.
  6. Dive
    8 years old at a pool party. Tries to dive. Belly flops. Sinks to the bottom in a pool of pain and shame. Considers drowning to overshadow embarrassment. Decide to resurface since pizza is being served. Still haunted by this memory. Hasn't dived since.
  7. Blow a bubble with chewing gum
    Suggested by   @graceofwrath
  8. Whistle
    Suggested by   @graceofwrath
  9. Accurately estimate how much room is in a container
    Especially when it comes to food and Tupperware
    Suggested by   @sallie