1. You want to eat ice cream later and feel justified instead of guilty? Get up.
  2. You looked on Facebook recently and saw that some of your high school classmates have gained some weight.
  3. You literally have nothing else planned today except going to the gym.
    You are the epitome of lazy right now. Get up.
  4. Look, I'm sorry I was harsh before. You're perfect the way you are.
    Except when you feel guilty about your lack of motivation later and then you eat ice cream anyway and feel terrible about that too so you binge watch more Netflix and feel guilty about that too and then you call up your ex and tell him everything and he's like "wait who is this" and now you're spiraling faster than the toilet water after you flushed away your dead fish and all you want to do is cry and none of this would've happened if you had just gone to the gym like I told you to.
  5. There's that cute guy at the gym that you like to watch doing bicep curls.
    He might be there.
  6. You're so close to almost having a slight bump in your bicep
    Or wait is that a mosquito bite?
  7. The next time someone catcalls you, you will be strong enough to beat the patriarchy out of them.