Alternative Facts About Me

  1. I have thick luxurious hair.
  2. I love my high paying job in Hollywood.
  3. My wife, Beyoncé, treats me amazingly. It's true love.
  4. As a classically trained pianist, I'm the life of the party.
  5. I love riding my pet bear into work.
  6. My second home is just a shrine to all my awards and trophies.
  7. I'm starring in the next Spielberg movie.
  8. My greatest memory: looking down on Earth from the surface of the moon.