The most obnoxious things I said upon returning to the US after a semester abroad in Paris, 2011

I promise these sounded better when I said them.
  1. "The portions are SO big here. In Paris entrees are actually appetizers."
  2. "Everyone eats so early here! In Paris I ate at 9 every night."
  3. "Omg I'm so used to the French keyboard. So many typos sorry"
  4. "Where can I get a viennoise chocolat around here?"
  5. "No one actually goes out on Saturdays in Paris so we should stay in."
  6. "Should we take the metro— sorry I mean subway."
  7. "Everyone here is so fake."
  8. "Ever since Paris I refuse to wear nail polish. Chipped polish is a no no and I can't afford to get my nails done every week."
  9. "Everyone eats so fast here. Let's sit and talk about philosophy and enjoy our meal. Oh the check already? Okay..."
  10. "No one drank coffee to go in Paris."
  11. "Exercise? I don't think it's actually proven to do anything... Can I borrow your lighter?"
  12. "I actually don't need to use a dryer ever again. I love this new thing of hang drying my clothes outside my window."
  13. "Pardon" (in a French accent when excusing myself.)
  14. "Merci" while thanking an English speaking waiter and then "I'm so sorry I was just living in Paris omg sorry"
  15. "That's the thing about Paris..."
  16. "Going back to school is going to be so weird, all our friends are our age!"
  17. "Yeah for sure I can be a French tutor" (I was. She was better. She was also 15.)
  18. "Oh I got this at a cute little vintage store in the 18th— Montmartre... In Paris."
  19. "The French man just appreciates the American woman. More than the American man. Is this shirt too low?"
  20. "I miss Paris."