Fond Memories From Elementary School

  1. Having my dad's eyebrows and no concept of waxing
  2. Being asked "why do you eat so much" while eating snacks at the school pick up line
  3. D.A.R.E
  4. Stealing Ali Hoeck's ramen in the 5th grade then eating it in front of her
  5. Writing a burn book that included the phrase "blueberry ass" in describing my teacher
  6. Being the last kid to get picked up from A+ after school care
  7. Performing a "dance" to the itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini song
  8. Eating plants
  9. Sitting next to Daichi, the Japanese exchange student with a perpetual mucus problem
  10. Eating paper
  11. Informally voting for George Bush over Al Gore in 2000 based solely on the fact that he and Barbara had more dogs