Lies Your Parents Tell About You

At the family reunion, holiday party, or to random strangers in the produce section
  1. "Sophia's on the dean's list again this year"
    Sophia was on the dean's list for one quarter in the 7th grade.
  2. "Sophia won an award at the art competition"
    Sophia got an honorable mention at the art competition
  3. "She's a dancer!"
    She performed once at the mall with the rest of her beginner hip hop class to 'let's get it started' by the black eyed peas. Average age of the class: 6. She was 14.
  4. "She decided against Princeton. It's just not the right vibe"
    Princeton sent her a small envelope.
  5. "Sophia's always been more of the independent type"
    SOPHIA IS SINGLE AS FUCK.