PHONE NOTES FROM THE DAY I WATCHED "THE MATRIX" (1999) FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT

  1. the structure of the sewage system in this movie makes no sense whatsoever
  2. every viewing of this movie I notice more wrinkles in everyone's foreheads
  3. the movie is bad
  4. the bad guy (whose name is Cypher, stupid name) is basically the bad guy from the Waterworld live show mixed with Sid from Ice Age
  5. the scene where laurence fishburne looks into the camera to talk to me as he leads me through the spaceship makes me feel very warm and safe.
  6. the dojo scene is a less accurate portrayal of kung fu than the fights in kung fu panda 1 and 2 (haven't seen KFP3)
  7. the score/soundtrack of this movie is 100% lifted from those PSAs that played before DVD menus about not pirating movies
  8. every character in this movie has a name that is so bad that it would even be noticeably bad in a hunger games book
    Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, Oracle, Cypher, Tank, Apoc, Mouse, Switch, Dozer, Rhineheart, Choi, Dujour
  9. how do morpheus's glasses stay on his face without the ear things
  10. the scene where keanu falls off the building is the funniest shit ever