How to Survive a Mammogram With Your Pride Intact

Or how I met the sexiest radiologist named Cheryl.
  1. When the radiologist is about to put the metal band aids on your nipples, ask them their name and smile hopefully.
  2. As the radiologist grabs your boob and twists it clockwise, try to catch their eye, then look at them tenderly.
  3. As the plate clamps shut on your breast and the radiologist tightens it further, repeat Inner mantra. We are two consenting adults, we are two consenting adults.
  4. Bring a bra one size smaller for afterwards. Your smooshed and deflated breasts will thank you.