The 5 Steps You Go Through After Slicing Off the Top of Your Thumb.
- •1. Repeat no, no, no, 39 times in different octaves.
- •2. Don't look as you wrap it in a paper towel. Seriously. Don't. Look.
- •3. Go to ER for tetanus shot. Still don't look.
- •4. Change your bandage with your eyes closed.
- •5. Look. Marvel at how much it looks like a deli item. Appreciate the jaunty new angle. Learn to love your cute new imperfection.