DISNEY PRINCESSES REIMAGINED AS LOS ANGELES NATIVES (VOL. 1)
These are some of the better known "princesses." I had fun putting this together (thanks @Nicholas!) and definitely didn't spend hours painstakingly curating this list.
- •Snow White: Topanga Canyon, teacher & activist (pretty much Jessica Day from The New Girl)Environmental studies T.A. at Pepperdine University, devout vegan and animal rights activist. Painfully naïve, but lives next door to 7 vertically-challenged introverts who keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't take candy (or fruit) from strangers. Has a tendency to fall asleep during class, due to her late night walks through the valley behind her house, looking for poor, injured animals.
- •Cinderella: Beverly Hills, aspiring fashion designerSenior at Beverly Hills High. She only gets clothing handed down to her from her step-sisters, so she ends up making most of her own. Her academic advisor snuck her into prom (her step-mom wouldn't buy her a ticket), which shows a weird amount of favoritism, but whatever. Now dating the prom king. Set a trend for glass stilettos, resulting in a class action suit against Manolo Blahnik for "the reckless endangerment of feet." Step-mother's cat pees on all of her stuff.
- •Sleeping Beauty: Hancock Park, restauranteurCan't cook to save her life, but has a keen appreciation for all things culinary thanks to her 3 weird aunts (who raised her in Altadena with way too many pets). Universally adored, with an extreme case of FOMO (due to a very sheltered childhood). Overtired as a result (has fallen asleep in many a bar restroom). REALLY wants a tattoo, but is deathly afraid of needles. Favorite color alternates daily between pink and blue.
- •Ariel: Laguna Beach, student (aspiring professional surfer)Frequently rocks the "bikini top as a bra" look. Almost exclusively wears shorts (she's very into her legs). Daddy owns her beach house (he lives in a Malibu estate with his other daughters) and lets her live there rent free as long as she goes to class and obeys his strict rules. Regardless, skips class almost daily to catch the best waves. A bit of a hoarder, but her secret boyfriend doesn't seem to mind (even though she inexplicably owns a life-sized statue of him...).
- •Belle: Venice Beach, tech bloggerRarely seen without a book (likes the smell of the paper, not on the kindle train). Fascinated by the tech world thanks to her inventor father, but lacked his engineering skills. In a committed relationship with a hirsute, brusque (but secretly sweet) heir to the fortune his parents made collecting antique furniture/fixtures/kitchenware. Has a restraining order against a 30-year-old grocery bagger who peaked in high school.
- •Pocahontas: Highland Park, activist & yoga instructorCrunchy/granola type. No-makeup, patchouli, not a fan of shoes. Lives in a large house with a seasonally rotating bunch of hippie friends and a garden in the backyard. HP native (so, before it was cool), outspoken opponent of gentrification (active in community meetings and outreach programs). Vegan and won't shut up about it. Casually dating a real-estate developer with his eye out for the next hip neighborhood.
- •Mulan: Chinatown, Naval pilot(Raised in Porter Ranch, by conservative parents) Wears an analog watch. Constantly (unsuccessfully) seeking her father's approval, trying to be someone he wants her to be, causing depression and mild personality disorder. Dropped out of Harvard (economics major) to join the navy. On again/off again with a male personal trainer who is simultaneously intimidated/turned on by her. She's probably/definitely gay, though.
- •Tiana: North Hollywood, pastry chefSelf-made success; worked two serving jobs for years to save money to open her own (pet friendly) bakery. Married to the heir of a Dotcom boom fortune (after an absolutely insane and confusing chain of events led them together and through a series of personal transformations that were hard to keep up with but hey, happily ever after!). Considered peddling marijuana edibles, but the altered-state concept reminded her of voodoo magic, which she abhors.
- •Rapunzel: Hollywood, former child star(Raised in Benedict Canyon) Highly isolated as a child, legally emancipated herself from her abusive step-stage-mom at 16 and moved to the "not-so-nice" part of Hollywood that she doesn't realize is "not-so-nice." Dangerously naïve; leaves her doors unlocked, purse unattended, etc. Her wide-eyed innocence leads many to adopt a protective role towards her, but she's still been mugged several times. She maintains that they needed her wallet more than she did.
- •Elsa: Ojai, famous actressSplits her time between her ranch and Jackson Hole, WY. Avid skier. Won't stop telling people "you think THIS is cold? Try -10° and having to shovel your way out your front door each morning." Got her start in modeling. A very private person, she aggressively shuns the spotlight. Has a criminal record for stabbing a photographer with an ice sculpture at a premiere after party. Not exactly emotionally stable.
- •Anna: West Hollywood, party planner(Raised in Ojai) Fresh out of college, got her start coordinating private parties thanks to her well-connected sister. Has major ADHD, is totally boy crazy. Falls in love with every guy she meets, but bounces from heartbreak back to smitten very quickly. Best friend is an albino guy who LOVES the sun (poor guy...).