DISNEY "PRINCESSES" REIMAGINED AS LOS ANGELES NATIVES (VOL. 2) 🏀

A follow up to this oldie but goodie: DISNEY PRINCESSES REIMAGINED AS LOS ANGELES NATIVES (VOL. 1). Thanks to Nicky for the original list request!
  1. Faline: La Cañada, high school student
    Has a boyfriend with the unfortunate name of Bambi. They were childhood friends and she was there for him when he lost his mother. They both quickly went through puberty (during spring of their sophomore year) and started dating after he fought a football player in the gym after school one day and won. After their school burnt down, she got knocked up and had twins. She and Bambi are planning on getting married as soon as they turn 18.
  2. Alice: USC dorms, philosophy major
    Kinda spacey, very cerebral. Smokes a lot of weed and does shrooms frequently. Prefers to do so on her own and just go exploring. While hallucinating, sees talking plants and animals, and has a very warped sense of her physical proportions. Had a terrible trip where she was chased by a psychopath who wanted to decapitate her, so she's taking a break for now. Really enjoys tea and has a bad habit of taking drinks from strangers at parties.
  3. Tinkerbell: Arts District, drug dealer
    Super hot, and knows it. Kind of a bitch. Is used to getting any guy she sets her eyes on, except her long-time friend who has eyes for another (super basic) girl. She's jealous and possessive, almost to a psychotic degree. Thrives on attention and when she doesn't get it, she feels like maybe she's not even alive. Her home-made product makes you feel like you can fly, so exercise extreme caution.
  4. Lady: Pacific Palisades, socialite
    Spoiled, well-bred, and very well-accessorized. Took up with a guy (from who knows where because he's pretty much a vagrant) who has quite a history with the ladies. He really stepped it up when she was kidnapped, and bought her a really nice Italian dinner. Well, "bought." Well.... Dine-and-dashed.
  5. Perdita: suburbs, mother
    Mormon. Not pictured: all the other kids. Also not pictured: Perdita. She hasn't allowed photos since she popped out number 28.
  6. Duchess: Bell Air, philanthropist
    Went white prematurely, although still quite young. A widowed mother of three small children whom she raises with the help of a jolly retiree with a penchant for stinky cheese. Patron of the arts, sits on many a board. Her kids attend Le Lycée Français, and have artistic proclivities (which she fosters and encourages). Recently started seeing a rakish jazz musician who quickly bonded with her children.
  7. Maid Marian: Tarzana, Olympic badminton silver medalist
    Spent years confined in a strict training nightmare with her uncle/manager and his creepy assistant coach who wouldn't stop hitting on her. Finally managed to break her contract, and move in with her new coach: a matronly, no-nonsense, middle-aged woman built like a linebacker. Currently dating a wanted felon - providing ample fodder for the sports tabloid headlines.
  8. Jasmine: Hollywood Hills, actress **holy shit, how did I forget her in my first list??
    Only child of a widowed wealthy studio executive, she infuriated her father by falling in love with a page. Her agent is a manipulative creep who secretly wants the spotlight for himself... But, he did land her a role as the tiger trainer on a sitcom chronicling the behind the scenes world of a circus troupe. She developed a surprisingly deep bond with her feline costar.
  9. Nala: Hollywood, ER trauma nurse.
    Paid her way through undergrad and nursing school by working 4 jobs and living in relative squalor. Her childhood love (who was a prince, by the way) recently came back into her life and could have made her financial situation much easier if he hadn't up and disappeared without a trace 15 years prior. But she took him back and puts up with his obnoxious buddies because he is, after all, the king.
  10. Esmerelda: Downtown, adult film actress
    A hardworking local who does what she does not out of necessity, but because she loves it. Constantly facing scrutiny for her chosen career, she gravitates towards other social outcasts and befriends those who understand what it's like to be shunned. Her best friend is an unfortunate looking boom operator, and her boyfriend is a fellow porn star with a famously enormous cock. She provides spank bank material that is popular with the self-righteous clergy.
  11. Meg: Thai Town, music video dancer
    Her manager once helped her out of a nasty scrape with an abusive ex, but turned out to be nearly as bad - forcing her to take jobs in videos she hated. Eventually met an up and coming pop star (with famous parents) who immediately asked to hire her to be in all his videos. Initially afraid of leaving her current situation, several of her sassy backup dancer friends encouraged her to take the plunge.
  12. Brave
    Didn't like this movie.