I WAS PREGNANT LAST NIGHT
In my dream.
- •The father was my summer camp boyfriend, Max Weiner.I haven't seen him in 12 years.
- •I was wearing a big, flowy, shiny gold top.
- •All my friends were "ratchet" girls.I have never actually used this term so I'm not sure I'm doing it right.
- •I wanted them to take a photo of me to send to Max,But each photo they took ended up looking obscene. The gold top would look like my skin, and it would appear that I was touching myself. I really just wanted a cute pic of me holding my belly. I didn't understand how that was so hard.
- •I went from slightly bloated to early third trimester overnight.And it had just hit me that it was too late to decide not to have the baby.
- •I'd been drinking a lot and was concerned.
- •My friend, who I'm pretty sure was @shanaz (not ratchet, don't worry), said "seriously, not drinking will be like second nature. You won't even have to think about it, baby won't let you."
- •And I'm thinking "yeah, but I got black out drunk like 3 nights ago. And maybe I didn't know I was pregnant or I forgot or something, but baby definitely let me."
- •There were a lot of really provocative photos of me and all my girlfriends in weird black and white harlequin outfits, kinda wrapped around each other.They were like Harry Potter photos (moving around a bit).
- •I was very preoccupied by making sure my father never saw them.
- •We were on a bus that kept stopping places when all I wanted was to see Max and have his damn baby.
- •I woke up and thought, "damn. That's a crazy dream...
- •...I would never wear that top."