IN DEFENSE OF THE 69

@DanaDigsYou: too much hate for a perfectly good sexual position.
  1. It's actually the best, y'all.
  2. It's like wearing sexy earmuffs.
  3. It's like a big, wet hug for your face.
  4. It adds a bevy of exciting new aromas, plus, it's a great opportunity to sneak a peak at a butthole.
  5. But make sure you have a safe word that is easily discernible while mumbling.
  6. Pro-tip: Introduce teeth for non-verbal communication.
  7. Stay perpendicular to the TV so you can both watch the latest episode of Arrow and discuss afterwards.
  8. See if you can hum and harmonize to the theme song for "The Jeffersons."
  9. Best experienced with 3 people.
  10. In a jacuzzi. (One to spot.)
  11. Seriously, no pressure.
    Except that you really need to synchronize your orgasms or your partner will probably dump you. Or definitely. Will definitely dump you.
  12. I rest my case.
  13. 🎙⬇️