PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT NOT SPIES

@notaspy crashed my Super Bowl party and I've been eliminating suspects. PARTY ANXIETY
  1. @margaretyoko was the first victim, and seemed genuinely shocked/spooked.
    However, she expressed anxiety about coming to the party and the list is called "Party Anxiety," so... You do the math.
  2. At first we thought it was @MrRai (Tommy) because this all started right after he left.
    It all fit: he joined months ago, wrote like 2 (really great) lists, and then stopped completely. I was just amazed he could have kept that secret from me.
  3. But then, he posted about @dcerruti's plastic cups...
    And Tommy wasn't there when he showed up.
  4. So of course, now we think it's Dan.
    Except his phone has been in his pocket the whole time. Plus, how could he have known Margaret had brought Stella 20 minutes before arriving?
  5. Next, the gaze of suspicion falls on me.
    But @aubreyljohnson sees my profile open on the app as I'm getting a notification that I've been tagged by @notaspy. So it couldn't be me either.
  6. I can be double eliminated because at one point it became clear to everyone that I am a terrible liar.
    I can't keep a shit-eating grin off my face. I'm the worst.
  7. @MariyaAlexander and @13spencer came later and can also be eliminated as suspects.
  8. @ChrisK can be eliminated, as he too came on the later side.
    However, he could have been using his special Santa skills to do magic reconnaissance...
  9. At this point, it's pretty clear to everyone that Tommy has installed secret cameras in the house.
    It's clearly the only logical explanation.
  10. Although, no one really ever suspected Aubrey... Who is just sweet and quiet enough to fly under the radar.
  11. So it's gotta be either Aubrey or Margaret.
    Right?
  12. Or Mark, who (allegedly) didn't know what the list app was... That would be the perfect crime. But ultimately not as gratifying as it being one of us...
  13. Ok, time to come clean. Who is the culprit?
  14. Because someone was sulking around my house looking at my feet, taking photos, and being, well, very spy-like.
  15. I SEE YOU.
    Well, no, I don't.
  16. 😨