SUSIE B.

A love list to @SusieB - who all of you need to follow and immediately request lists from so she'll actually make some (I can promise they'd be worth reading - she's only done one, but it's great: Why Stouts Are (Unquestionably) the Best.)
  1. She's half mother half older sister to me.
    You'd think that would mean "aunt," but you'd be wrong.
  2. Mom part: she buys me groceries and brings me homemade soup.
    I mentioned needing to get cat litter and she showed up at my bar with a 13lb bag of Johnny Cat. She didn't even need to go to the store for herself, it was a dedicated me trip.
  3. Sister part: we go to the same waxer (coincidence) and talk about sex.
    We LOVE Sylvia. And I don't talk about sex with my mom. Or my aunts. Or my sister, because I don't have one. But if I did, I would.
  4. We met at Beer Belly (where I used to work) and bonded over beer.
    She's a dedicated beer geek. I can only aspire to reach her level.
  5. She loves anything "big and black."
    Meaning stouts. What did you think I meant, perverts?
  6. She HATES IPAs
    And won't give more than a 3/5 rating on Untappd to anything light-colored (even if she loves it) because "I just can't! Look at it!"
  7. We started a gang: Lipstick & Beer.
    Not exclusive to ladies! You just gotta wear lipstick! Eventually we'll do a YouTube show or something, but we're busy ladies.
  8. She is a tough mother fucker.
    She's been through some shit and is one of the strongest, most badass, and most positive people I know.
  9. She can bend people to her will.
    She'll text a bartender 15 minutes out and they'll set aside a double pour of whatever is the strongest, darkest beer on tap so it can sit out and warm. This same bartender was appalled when upon first meeting her, she asked for said double serving (at double the price). Now, it's a given.
  10. She never expects to get her tab taken care of.
    Even when she brings 5 expensive bottles to share with everyone at the bar. Even when they didn't bring anything. Even when she tips so generously. Obviously, she gets taken care of, but she never expects it.
  11. She's a marathoner. I barely did 3 half-marathons and ended up in the ER halfway through my 3rd.
    Ok, so 2.5 half marathons. Sheesh.
  12. She is a fierce friend, a protective mommy (to her actual son but also to me), and would move mountains for her friends.
    We would do the same for her.
  13. I love my Susie and my Susie loves me.
  14. Let's bring her into the fold. Make her list, people!!