WORST PEOPLE I HAVE DATED/SLEPT WITH IN THE PAST
Inspired by @DanaDigsYou. Let me preface with: I have not always made the best decisions and have not always acted in a way one would deem "morally sound." I'm not proud of that, but we're all human and we all make mistakes. Reference for nicknames: //NICKNAMES FOR SOME OF THE GUYS I'VE HAD SEX WITH.
- •The mechanical engineer who couldn't spell.
- •The one who always smelled faintly of poop.But was sooooo nice.....
- •The one who asked me to move to Seattle after one week together.("The Toddler") Threw a legit - flung himself over the bed, pounded the mattress with his fists, kicked his legs, and wailed - temper tantrum.
- •Mr. STD.Got really angry that I wouldn't sleep with him right away (which I usually don't have a problem with). Found out two years later that he gave his next girlfriend herpes and HPV.
- •The married ones.1) Said he was separated. He wasn't. 2) ("Harry Shearer") Had a green card marriage and wanted me to be his girlfriend/mistress.
- •Santana's nephew."Oh, Santana is your uncle? Really? I'd forgotten. Can you remind me again? Because that was pretty much how you introduced yourself to me. OH! He IS your uncle! Thanks for telling me!"
- •"The Dad"Have dated several dads. This one I met at a KROQ singles party (I know), took me home, etc., etc., and I woke up to his 4-yr-old daughter cuddling me in his bed.
- •The magician(s)1) ("Stomach Puncher") We dated for months, he basically lived with me, then he never came home one night. Didn't hear from him for a year. Very surprisingly, we're friends now. 2) The guy who jumped my fence in the rain to surprise me (he was super romantic and very into me). 3) Most recently with "Mr. Shuffleboard." Each time when things are going really well and they bring up exclusivity before I do. These 3 hurt my confidence most.
- •The abusive oneObvious. Also, once he brought home a girl while blacked out and I was asleep (I woke up right away). We lived in a loft (no bedroom door), she saw I was in there, but somehow they weren't deterred. I busted in on them naked and making out in our bathroom. He tried to push the door shut ("sorry, was I interrupting?"), she left, he tried to bang me. It was near the end so I wasn't even sad about him, just colossally, shockingly disrespected.
- •The coworker("Tiffani") He was very young, very jealous, and very unstable. I was dating the above shit bag, so we had an affair. We fell in love (or he did, I just needed his intense obsession to balance out the negativity). He called me terrible names, loved me one day, hated me the next, and got a tattoo to remind him of how poisonous and evil I was.
- •"The German"Whiskey/coke dick, terrible in bed, very confused when I kicked him out.
- •Been hurt plenty of times, and had plenty of bad sex, but they don't all deserve to be labeled "worst." And some of these "worst" were at times the "best." Funny how that works out.