1. "Tell me your biggest, darkest secret." "I don't wear socks."
  2. "Hemorrhoid demons, come out!"
  3. "Every time you turn away a teen who is trying to buy alcohol, you lose a sale."
  4. "I don't ride a motorcycle but I am a bit of a bad boy."
  5. "So it's surprising to me that I've never met a realtor who could sell me a house that was guaranteed to be ghost free."
  6. "I also hired a worse Johnny Depp impersonator to act as a stand-in to make Ronnie look better by comparison."
  7. "Most pet cemeteries don't allow advertisements. But there's no law about what you can put on a gravestone."