My dad hates animals and is very allergic.
  1. Catsby.
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    Has ruined me for any future boyfriends. Loves me fiercely and hates all other humans. Has taught our other cat what it means to be intimate. Licks my hand when I cry.
  2. Posy.
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    My best friend. Would be dead or mental homed without. Can't write more because miss too much.
  3. A cat called Badger.
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    Pictures wrestling Catsby 'Brokeback Mountain' style.
  4. 2 tortoises.
    Named Jeff and Geoff by my genius of a brother. Currently lost in our garden. We don't talk about it.
  5. Some fish.
    Not of interest to me.
  6. A bunny called Dusty.
    We thought he was very floppy and loved to cuddle but then it turned out he had a brain tumour. RIP.
  7. A bunny called Fast Rabbit.
    Named by my 5 year old other genius of a brother.
  8. A cat called Fish.
  9. A cat called Ginge.
  10. A cat called Lila.
    Badgers mum. She hated Badger. And our family. And any other animals. She now lives with a lovely friend of ours and is happy. I'm still a bit sad about it.
  11. A cat called Rosie.
    She also grew to hate our family. I think she lives with an old lady but that might have been a lie.
  12. 2 goats called Mary and Lucy.
  13. 2 guinea pigs called Ron and Baxter.
  14. A cat called Angel.
    We were told he would die after 1 year. Hence the name. He's 11.
  15. A rabbit called Patrick.
    Who turned out to be a girl.
  16. My brother Spike.
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    The best thing in my life but v much not human. (Pictured sleeping. Still alive.)