Perks of Breaking your Arm

  1. People at parties LOVE casts
    If you like attention, break a bone
  2. The cast fills your palm so you learn your priorities
    Since you don't have space to carry two things at the same time, you can choose what single portable item is most important to you: your homework, your phone, or your dining hall tray
  3. People like signing casts
    If you like validation, break a bone and invest in a sharpie
  4. The cast is itchy so you learn to be inventive
    How many thin, long, hard, straight objects with sharp tips do you own that you can shove into your bone-tube to scratch all the dead skin?
  5. People like making fun of how you got your cast
    No conversation topic? No problem!
  6. The cast is ugly so you develop fashion
    If the cast is blue, you can say goodbye to your multicolored t-shirt-based wardrobe and start trying not to clash by wearing black and white outfits #classy
  7. People like injured people
    If you like getting asked "do you need help" or asking your roommate to do your ponytail for you, break a bone
  8. The cast is fat so you develop body heat
    For someone who is always cold it is a treat to realize no coat sleeve fits over your arm, just in time for a bitter Midwest autumn