QUESTIONABLE THINGS MY KIDS HAVE DONE

  1. Placed guitar hero stickers on the blades of thief ceiling fan.
    This was done a few years ago. There have been various too changed and now that our oldest moved out we are making an office/guest room.
  2. Twirled a bag of dog poop that somehow landed on the roof of the house.
    For two weeks we kept meaning to ask about the bag that was on the roof. When we asked our son he laughed and confessed to being responsible. 💩🐶
  3. Crushed a sapling. Sorry, we were playing football and I thought you didn't want it there.
    I took the dog out one morning and it was still dark. I couldn't see the sapling. I chalked it up to needing my eyes checked. My husband asked why the sapling was gone. This is why we can't have nice things.
  4. Text me to come home from school.
    Sigh, I get texts like these a few times a week. One of the kids cannot stand high school. Texts like these is why I ignore texts to tell me the oven might be on fire.
  5. Have a fear of mayo.
    Same child that hates high school wanted to do Whole30 with my husband and I. We kept saying no, but she did it sometimes. She dropped out on day 6. Thank God.