AUTOBIOGRAPHY TITLES: END-OF-DEGREE EDITION

It's getting close to graduation, I'm almost done my undergrad, the honours thesis that I'm writing is going to do me in probably
  1. The Freshman 15: But in Fourth Year and in Three Weeks
  2. What if this is Shit? And Other Concerns
  3. Someone Take Away My Netflix Account
  4. How to Write a Thesis in Three Weeks