MY GO-TO KARAOKE SONGS
- •“Anarchy in the U.K.” By the Sex PistolsAll you have to do is growl and sneer a lot. Cakewalk that impresses anyone over forty-five who still fancies themselves a young rebel. Put the Manic Panic down!
- •“Creep” by RadioheadAw, am I sad after that second beer?
- •“Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon JoviI’ve seen a million faces _and_ rocked them all
- •“So Alive” by Love and RocketsAw, am I sad after that fifth beer?
- •“Basketcase” by Green DayWouldn’t it be a hoot if I sang this like Bob Dylan? They kinda sound alike. Oh man I haven’t drunk texted [redacted] in months. I totally should!
- •“Always” by ErasureHad a couple shots so I am _pretty sure_ I can do all four octaves, just shifted two octaves down the scale. My throat hurts. I should look up [redacted #2] on Facebook. Still married. Duh. I wasn’t even, I mean, just wondering where she’s at in her life. We went such different directions. Ew, she liked the racist meme her husband posted… never mind. What the hell.
- •“Gloria” by Laura BraniganPure joy. The greatest song ever written or performed. Everything is radiant. Everyone is radiant. All is full of love (I checked, they don’t have Björk’s “All Is Full of Love” but “Gloria” is the best song ever anyway).
- •“Fwaajahahahr” by Simple Minds[falls over after leaning on the mic stand. Gently exited from establishment by larger male with calloused knuckles. Cries in doorway three doors down. Hums “Kryptonite” while trying to hail a cab that turns out to be a raccoon]