NICKNAMES I HAVE HAD

Some nicknames I have had through my life, many based off my short stature in grade school, or my last name.
  1. Snicklefritz
    One my parents called me when I was wee.
  2. Skeeterboom
    Another one from my parents. I should ask them where these came from.
  3. Shrimp
    I was short on first grade! Ha ha!
  4. Half Pint
    I was still short in eighth grade competitive math tournaments! Ha ha ha ha!
  5. Doctor Love
  6. Love Doctor
  7. Love Machine
    An ironic name given to me in junior high, as I was anything but. It was good fun when my PE teacher, Ms. Calkins joined in calling me that (though without any malice). Alas, my sister got saddled with Love Machine 2 by Ms. Calkins five years later
  8. Love Horse
  9. Brother Love
  10. Brother Hate
  11. Sewer Rat
    Given to me by a guy who gave everyone a nickname on the late night shower head assembly line. I lucked out. Someone else got stuck with “Dirty Boner”
  12. Twitch
    From a comic book a friend of mine and I tried putting together many many years ago, I used it a couple times when trying to buy drugs from strangers in unfamiliar cities. Many many years ago. THIS IS NOT WHAT I DO ANYMORE! I now have drugs flown in on my fleet of private jets (I kid! We have fun!) So now “Sewer Rat” seems more apt, yes?
  13. Shamus MacFamily
    Given to me by the same guy I pretended to work on a comic with, as my drinking name. In return, I called him Tipsy MacStaggart. There was also Holden McGroin and Brandon McCalf, the latter because he tried branding his lower leg with a heated up, bent coat hangar, caught gangrene later that week, and went to the emergency room. LOOK, I HAVE A 401K NOW, ALL RIGHT? EVERYTHING IS FINE!
  14. Schwa
    Contraction of “Joshua” that my best friend at the time came up with. People still call me this. Even new friends, probably because I use it with online handles
  15. Doctor Schwa Love
    My roller derby announcer name, something I did for about three years
  16. Schwabert
    The more formal version of “Schwa”
  17. Soft Dad
    Given to me by a close friend, I think because I get worried about everyone getting home safe after a party is over / worry about everyone in general? I dunno. I don’t even have kids. I am too much of a mess to be responsible for the lives of children.