THINGS I NOTICED ABOUT THE STRANGER WHO BROKE MY JAW, WHEN I SAW HIM ON A TRAIN THREE MONTHS LATER

Just some handy notes for myself and a hopefully pending criminal investigation.
  1. Chewing Gum
    He was chewing gum. I on the other hand have not chewed gum in over three months, what with chewy things making the nerves in that one weird spot in my jaw go haywire, and I have this fear—perhaps irrational, perhaps not—that it’s a weak spot now, or there’s still a bit of a greenstick fracture there and I’m gonna break it.
  2. Underbite
    I noticed this about him the first time too. I don’t have an underbite, but one of my teeth is at a funny angle now, and if I push my jaw forward it feels like the bottom of it is going to split in two.
  3. Pinched Features
    It seems like all his features seem to radiate from this angry, entitled spot in his forehead, just above his brow. Even his enlightened third eye is full of bile and rage.
  4. Ripped
    This guy was ripped. Not bulky, but certainly had muscle definition, like a karate instructor or something. I didn’t notice that before because when he broke my face he was wearing a large coat. Anyway, I feel tougher now seeing how strong he was, which is the dumbest point of pride ever.
  5. Hot Pink Earbuds
    I don’t really have any dumb joke to go to with this, just something I noticed, so I am putting it on the list so that I can remember to freak out the next time I see hot pink earbuds. If everyone could put trigger warnings before anything they write that involves hot pink earbuds oh god just typing the words, I just…
  6. Protruding Nose
    Not big or anything, but a little more prominent than average.
  7. Eyes
    Inner side of eyes pointed up, outer side pointed down, again radiating from his forehead. Also they were staring at me for a good two minutes with burning, smirking recognition, while I pretended to pay attention to the conversation I was having with my ex, and not to the adrenalin pumping through my system like it was a fresh pot of coffee injected into my aorta, all while I desperately looked for a way to signal to her that that’s the guy! Why does the train keep stopping in the tunnel?
  8. Shirt
    He was wearing a shirt. Pants too I think.
  9. Dirty Blond Hair
    It’s grown a bit since I was spitting blood all over the pavement by the bus stop. Might want to get a trim. I on the other hand am considering wearing a wig, bowler hat, fake beard, and a monocle whenever I get on the L from now on.