1. Want to feel old? When Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers premiered, you weren’t as concerned about the threat of heart disease.
  2. Want to feel old? Take stock of every ache and pain in your body, and complain about them to younger relatives.
  3. Want to feel old? As you read this third bullet point, more of your life flew by, never to return.
  4. Want to feel old? Be dismissive of any pop culture that is aimed at anyone more than ten years younger than you.
  5. Want to feel old? Pay attention to the steady drudgery of your daily life and wonder where it all went wrong.