12 Things Only an Introvert Would Understand!
PS I'm an extrovert.
- •When someone tries to seduce you, you punch them directly in the genitals
- •If someone invites you to a party or social gathering, you immediately begin speaking in tongues and then fall into a coma
- •When you make eye contact with someone on the elevator, you exit at your floor and then commit ritual disembowelment
- •If someone sends you a friend request on Facebook, you throw your computer out the window
- •When engaging in small talk at a cocktail party, you experience the conversation as if outside your own body and everything looks like Google Deep Dream
- •If you randomly run into an acquaintance on the street, you say "hi" and then leap into the nearest garbage can
- •When meeting someone for the first time, you projectile vomit
- •The thought of calling someone on the phone is worse than the thought of bathing in animal excrement
- •You fall asleep during job interviews
- •A conversation with the check-out clerk at the grocery store feels like someone is rolling you up very tightly in a carpet and then setting the carpet on fire
- •The last party you went to was over 15 years ago and attendance was mandatory
- •Everyone hates you