8 Things to Jumpstart the Carson Campaign
The doc's presidential nomination bid is foundering! Here's some suggestions to breathe new life into his campaign.
- 1.Propose flat tax for piratesHey if it's good enough for America, it's good enough for those who plunder the seas.
- 2.Develop serious caffeine habitThis will allow Carson to keep his eyes open during interviews.
- 3.Mock Rubio's sweatersHey if Cruz is going to make fun of Rubio's shoes, take it up a notch and ridicule his sweaters.
- 4.Offer free surgeries for new supportersEvery 100th person to sign up for Carson's online newsletter gets a free coronary bypass (one per household)!
- 5.Create new sloganSomething like "Get in the Car, Son!" Is both humorous and resonates with voters who drive.
- 6.Appear at rallies with Jesus puppetWill be great for connecting with the Christian base. Also Carson barely moves his mouth when speaking, so ventriloquism should be an easy add-on.
- 7.Get a neck tattooLet's face it, it would get people talking.
- 8.Stage a boxing match with TrumpMake it like the one from Rocky III and the Gen Xers will be eating out of your hand.