Fuck these guys.
  1. Red from Shawshank Redemption, who promised to get you cigarettes but every time you ask him about it he's like, "Oh shit, my bad"
  2. The dead girl from The Lovely Bones, who never RSVPs for the party but shows up anyway
  3. Daniel Stern from The Wonder Years, who is constantly late for book club
  4. Holden Caulfield, who never returned your copy of Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" and now claims he can't find it anywhere
  5. The guy from Super Friends, who has never actually even set eyes upon the Hall of Justice
  6. Ishmael from Moby Dick, who keeps saying he will call but never does
  7. Linda from Days of Heaven, who constantly leaves her dirty dishes in the sink
  8. The Invisible Man from Invisible Man, who is just kind of a dick, if we're being honest about it