"It's called brainstorming, not braindrizzling."
  1. Arm entire Congress, let them shoot it out
  2. Add % chance of mass shootings to morning weather report
  3. Ask maniacs to self-identify on job applications
  4. Apply fun licenses to bulletproof vests for kids: SpongeBob, Spider-Man, Darth Vader, etc.
  5. Add wifi adapters to all handguns so you can upload your shootings directly to social media
  6. ER trauma drive-thru for victims
  7. "Bullet Miles" loyalty programs
  8. Car fridges to store extra blood in the event of road rage
  9. Killing your boss legalized
  10. Add "shoot" button to Facebook