Reasons you need to watch Teen Beach Movie right now
It's summer, you know what that means? That's right, perfect time to watch Feminist Masterpiece Teen Beach Movie and it's instant-classic sequel Teen Beach 2. But I know what you're saying, "Scott! Those are Disney Channel Original Movies! How could they possibly have important or interesting social and culture value?" Well let me show you
- •Ok so here's Mack and her lame ass boyfriend BradyMack(enzie) is super cool and an amazing surfer. Brady is a decent surfer and kind of a crappy boyfriend but don't worry you don't have to care about him he literally doesn't matter.
- •Barry Bostwick is in itYou know, Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show. He plays Mack's grandfather. She lives with him on he beach where he makes surf boards.
- •Grandpa and Brady bond over their love for a cheesy 1962 movie called Wet Side Story (yeah, I know!)Mack thinks it's dumb. She doesn't understand why they always sing, why their hair doesn't get wet when they go in the water, and why the girls can never surf as well as the boys.
- •Let's talk about Wet Side StoryIt's like West Side Story but about rival biker and surfer gangs fighting over the same beach.
- •Tanner is the leader of the surfers but he's in love with Lela, the younger sister of the leader of the biker gang The RodentsHe's also so so gay
- •Lela is very pretty
- •So anyway Mack and Brady somehow get transported into Wet Side StoryHe's excited because he's an idiot. Mack, a rational human being, is horrified and disturbed
- •Mack and Brady accidentally interfere with the plot of the movie and need to get it back on course to get back home
- •From here, it could have easily turned into a story about Mack learning to be less of a "bitch" and open her heart and start singing and True Love would save her
- •BUT IT TOTALLY DOESNT
- •Instead, Mack is disgusted by the gender politics of the movieShe teaches all the girls to stand up for themselves and be feminist badasses
- •Mack and Lela have so much sexual tensionYour new favorite ship
- •Mack encourages Lela to follow her dreams and learn how to surf
- •In the end, Lela breaks the evil weather machine with her bobby pin (a symbol of her femininity) and saves the dayEmpowered by Mack, she proclaims "girls can do anything boys can do!"
- •Through teaching the Wet Side Story girls to embrace their feminist potential, Mack learns to stand up for what she wants.Back in her own world, Mack stands up to her aunt who wants to move her to the east coast to go to a fancy prep school.
- •Did I mention this is a musical?The songs are seriously great
- •And there's a sequel that's even MORE feminist and greatLela and Tanner come into modern times and go back to destroy the patriarchy
- •Seriously. Go watch these movies!