THINGS I'VE SAID TO ANTS WHILST MURDERING THEM
Never do my inner Inigo Montoya and Jamie Lannister show themselves more than when a large rogue ant charges into the kitchen. These are real quotes, uttered just before or during the kill, while some happen during the burial.
- •"Why won't you die?"
- •"You're as brave as you are stupid."
- •"You're like Steven Seagal, you little bastard. You're hard to kill."I had to explain the reference to the dying little bug.
- •"Now this is going to be fun."The little bastard interrupted a Game of Thrones episode.
- •"This is the end, my ant-y friend [squishes ant]. The end."
- •"Really? You want to die that bad?"Try ant-splaining that to a five year old. I did.
- •"How about a SWIM!"Said just before sweeping it into the sink and into the compactor.