I no longer have pets. It's just hassle. Anyway, I've got kids now, they're like pets, but don't leave hair on the furniture.
  1. Alvin (Gerbil)
    Alvin was my first pet, a small sandy coloured Gerbil. Taken from us one fateful night in the early 90's, when my brothers gerbils (large black rat like creatures) feasted upon poor Alvin until all that remained were a leg, a small piece of jaw bone and a tail. Fun fact - Alvin died the same day as Freddie Mercury. When I cried at school over the loss of my loved one the kids thought I was upset over Freddie.
  2. Kipper (Cat)
    Kipper was a black and white female cat, much loved in our family until our Uncle Hughie reversed over her in his metallic blue Nissan Bluebird. He returned her to the family home with great ceremony on the end of the shovel he kept in the car. She was laid to rest on a balmy summers evening inside a Golden Wonder salt and vinegar crisp box. I wept as she was laid to rest 'neath a tree, and was sick when she was dug up and half eaten by a fox the following day. Really, the smell was terrible.
  3. Tabatha (Cat)
    Tabatha was the replacement cat for the afore mentioned Kipper. A small tabby female who was my mothers best friend for many years. She could often be found asleep around my mums neck like some kind of living scarf. She was loveable and loving. Her demise came as the ravages of old age left her with poorly functioning kidneys. We decided to put her to sleep and buried her beneath the same tree that Kipper was (but a bit deeper to avoid another animal exhumation).