1. I feel like I’m looking for a needle in a haystack, but I can’t figure out whether or not I like haystacks.
  2. What was the other thing I said today?
  3. I’d like a priority totem.
  4. Social media is the death of dating.
  5. What? Sandwich brain?
  6. She’s, like, my fanciest friend, job-wise.
  7. It’s like a vampire wrote this.
  8. There are a few things we’ve forgotten that we meant to discuss. But I can’t remember what they are right now.
  9. Scratcher 1: I’ll come back in 15 minutes. Scratcher 2: Please don’t.
  10. I was at the doctor and they told me I’d shrunk an inch; I blame it on this place.
  11. I wear a lot of women’s clothing it turns out; I just don’t know it.