My Top 24 Tweets That Got No Appriciation

I'm @seamlesslytango on Twitter and I love to write funny tweets. Sometimes I will write something that I think is very funny but it doesn't get a like, a comment, a retweet... Nothing. Here are the best 24 of those tweets that went under appreciated. Let's bring these bad boys back to life.
  1. 1.
    I'm writing a screenplay about a guy who secretly owns two competing mattress companies. The working title is The Bedder Of Both Worlds.
    I love movies and puns.
  2. 2.
    Based on how often I eat @tacobell , I'm FINALLY starting to understand Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship.
    A poop joke and a domestic violence joke in one! That's not always easy, folks.
  3. 3.
    "We want to dedicate this song to the troops" - 3 Doors Down before every song
    Maybe I'm just the only person who knows 3 Doors Down this well.
  4. 4.
    Parkinson's is like a stutter for deaf people.
    The first time I posted this one, I spelled Stutter like Studder. So I took it down and reposted it spelled correctly. It didn't get any likes either time.
  5. 5.
    I would pay good money to hear Tom Delong read Green Eggs & Ham.
    Wouldn't you?
  6. 6.
    Why isn't there a White Friday? #equality
    Obviously satire, but maybe I'm just too edgy for my followers.
  7. 7.
    Have you ever been halfway through a story and realized you're just describing a Simpsons episode you saw? I never conducted a monorail.
    Not a Simpsons fan, huh?
  8. 8.
    Ghost Whisperer is AGGRESSIVE about showing me Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage.
    Have you ever seen that show?! They really want you to see her boobs and they're not the least bit subtle about it.
  9. 9.
    The guy poopin' in the stall next to me sounds like he's trying to get lasagna out of a whoopee cushion.
    Another poop joke for ya.
  10. 10.
    If I had a finger for every douche with a vape I saw, I could count every single one of them on my hands!
    Get it? Because I don't!
  11. 11.
    The word "p'wned" really got p'wned by 2008.
    That was such a popular word when I was in high school.
  12. 12.
    I think I'm done using men's shaving cream. I need something more intimate for my skin. Any suggestions?
    Skintimate.
  13. 13.
    Thank you Spotify for also sharing your displeasure for the ads while acting like you aren't the one responsible for them.
    That's the main reason I don't use Spotify.
  14. 14.
    I just heard this guy say "I relate a million percent!" But I think what he meant was "I want this guy to tweet about how stupid I am.”
    True story.
  15. 15.
    If life is a highway, I want to ride your mom.
    Childish, yes, but you can still tap that heart button.
  16. 16.
    You'd think after the forth try, I'd learn that my friends don't find pedophile jokes funny.
    I think the joke was about a girl's drivers license photo looking young. I make these jokes a lot and no one ever laughs.
  17. 17.
    Yeah, your "Watch Me Whip" ringtone is pretty cool, but the self-importance it takes to not have your phone on silent is notably uncool.
    In all seriousness, I hate when people have their phones not on vibrate in public. Who are you?
  18. 18.
    I have a friend who works as a waiter, host and manager at a Village People themed restaurant. I guess you could say he wears a lot of hats.
    That's gold, idiot!
  19. 19.
    Is it common for rappers to become actors? Because I think it's very Common!
    This was accompanied by a photo of the rapper Common who you may know from such movies as Wanted and Now You See Me.
  20. 20.
    Yeah, good call on not making a Girl With The Dragon Tattoo video game.
    Not for everyone, but someone should have found this funny.
  21. 21.
    Apparently, if you pee on a private school, it's still considered public urination and VERY finable.
    That's a cute one, why didn't anyone like this?
  22. 22.
    It's really convenient that Miley Cyrus cut her hair when she went insane. Now I can easily tell if what I'm watching is pre-crazy.
    Truth.
  23. 23.
    Ever see a person so old that their face looks like a wax museum figure found their way into a Please Touch Museum? I did.
    Old people have gross faces. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
  24. 24.
    Allow me to play devil's abacus but maybe calculators aren't the best way to solve math problems.
    This one is one of my favorites ever, and it is a great way to end this list.