THINGS TO DO WHILE LISTENING TO LANA DEL REY'S HONEYMOON, TRACK BY TRACK

Honeymoon turns ten days old today 🎂
  1. Honeymoon
    Smoke a cigarette at dawn while gazing back across the room at your sleeping lover.
  2. Music To Watch Boys To
    Put a record on and sunbathe in your front yard. Wear a red bikini and floppy hat. Paint your nails and, most importantly, watch boys.
  3. Terrence Loves You
    Convince your lover that the 34 year age gap between the two of you is no big deal.
  4. God Knows I Tried
    In the dead of night, dig up the $4,000 your abusive husband keeps buried underneath the rusted Volkswagen Rabbit in the backyard. Hitchhike west, but turn up the gas on the stove before you leave.
  5. High By The Beach
    Break up with whatever asshole you're dating. Ream them out for their bullshit and then smoke a fat one.
  6. Freak
    Seduce a handsome man at a dive bar. Take his wallet.
  7. Art Deco
    Put on something lacey and give a lap dance to an older man
  8. Religion
    Give or receive mind blowing head
  9. Salvatore
    Hunt down the Italian diplomat you've been hired to assassinate. Fall in love with him. Let your guard down. Realize too late that he's not an Italian diplomat but a fellow assassin, and you're his target.
  10. The Blackest Day
    Lock yourself in your room. Get yourself off. Lament your lost loves. Order room service.
  11. 24
    Spend the first half of the song drinking wine and sobbing in a négligée. Spend the second half baking cyanide into a cake for your paramour's wife.
  12. Swan Song
    Have gentle, loving make up sex / Commit a murder suicide
  13. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
    Eat bonbons and play with your lover's hair while covering up a past full of crimes and transgressions