HUMAN ENCOUNTERS I HAD TODAY BEFORE SPEAKING A WORD.

Quiet times in the big city.
  1. 9am-10am- Boo Chain
    A three year long group text with mah Boos.
  2. 10am- I send a pajamafied reference selfie to a friend who is going to give me a haircut.
    Immediately realize I need to clean my mirror and put away my undies drying on a hanger
  3. 12pm- Somebody walking their dog on Classon Ave stops walking to let their dog smell me.
    I don't love it.
  4. 12:10- I roll my eyes at a catcaller on Fulton Street.
    HAY WHERE ARE YOU GOING CAN I COME WICHU????
  5. 12:40- I make flirty eyes at a handsome man on Queens-bound F train for about ten minutes before realizing the man next to him is his boyfriend.
    They were holding hands.
  6. 1pm - I am almost hit by a guy riding his bike the wrong way in a bus lane down Lex at 64th st.
    "HAY I LIKE THAT TATTOO ON YOUR LEG'"
  7. 1:10pm- I buy a banana from a beautiful teenager at The Food Emporium on 68th and 3rd. She was talking in the phone the whole time.
    I tired to wave a little thanks but she wasn't into it.
  8. 1:12- I slip a little on the wet sidewalk at the crosswalk on 70th st. A Good Samaritan goes "WOAH BE CAREFUL THERE!!!!!!"
    I go 😁😁.
  9. 1:13- I arrive at work, Stanley the doorman goes "Hi Grace didja swim here from Brooklyn??".
    It's raining. Also side note: this guy's full name is Stanley Stanley, I shit you not! He's so rad.
  10. 1:13pm- at least I speak! I croak; "Hi Stanley!"
    At this point my voice sounds like in Kill Bill 2 when homegirl punches her way out of a coffin and six feet of dusty dirt.