I sit by a vending machine in my soul-crushing job as a faceless cog at a keyboard. Whenever someone puts a $5 in the machine to get their 50 cent Diet Pepsi or whatever, they get back $4.50 in quarters. The go-to response to that, without FAIL, if someone is nearby is "hit the jackpot, huh?" Every time. My gift to you, office drones: new patter
  1. Hey, what is this - a laundromat?
  2. Hey, what's going on? Is this an arcade or something?
  3. Whoa, that's a lot of quarters, man! Pretty cool. Enjoy the soda!
  4. Put those quarters in a roll and put that roll in your pocket so it looks like your DICK is bigger
    NOTE: Don't use this one on the women in the office
  5. Hey, what's the deal - is this a casino from before they just gave you the paper slip with your winnings or something? Like the Sahara or one of those other ones that have been demolished in favor of family friendly, touristy garbage?
    This one's a bit of a fresh spin on that old favorite.
  6. Hey, you gonna swim around in all that coin, Uncle Scrooge?
  7. *avoid eye contact, continue walking*