THINGS I'M GOING TO DO TODAY ON MY DEAD MOM'S BIRTHDAY

She passed away a year ago. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle these "special pain" kinds of days.
  1. Buy her flowers
    I can't remember a time when I didn't buy my mom flowers for her birthday. It's just what I do. I know she'd love them. I can't stop now, even though it makes me very sad.
  2. Call my grandma
    In China, it's tradition to cook an egg for your mom on your birthday, to show appreciation for all of her labor and sacrifice. I know mom would like it if I remembered her mom.
  3. Have a good cry
    Pretty much inevitable
  4. Give a big middle finger to Facebook
    Facebook greeted me today with a big colorful message saying "We thought you wouldn't want to miss a chance to wish her a happy birthday." Fuck you, Facebook.
  5. Look at pictures of my mom
    She is so very beautiful. Her smile makes me smile.
  6. Walk outside in the wind
    I associate the wind with my mom for illogical reasons
  7. Send my siblings some love
    I love you, siblings.
  8. Try to be happy
    Because my mom wouldn't want me to be too sad.
  9. Fail miserably at being happy
    What can you do?