1. "New phone, who is this?"
    I just cannot accept new phone consumption is that high. Also, your contacts can transfer over.
  2. "LOL"
    Are you really, truly laughing? And is it really, truly out loud?
  3. "Hey, sorry my phone died! Just seeing this"
    Unless your phone battery is made out of 3 loose wires and a penny you rub against train tracks to make sparks I immediately dismiss this.