MY MOST OBNOXIOUS THOUGHTS AND STATEMENT OF RECENT TIMES

  1. "Honestly, it's the only worthwhile thing about going to Venice"
    Bellinis are golden, Venice is trash.
  2. "I don't think this is a cashmere throw"
    I fear my spa misled me...
  3. "Who would even care if the pineapple puree in this kombucha is organic?"
    Also, what alternate universe do they live in that has any kombucha that's NOT organic
  4. "Imagine being bad at Jeopardy"
    I shudder.