I don't suppose you want these jobs anywhere, but I am drawing from the last nine months (insofar as I remember the last nine months).
  1. festive animal greeter
    Nobody controls their kids here, so you will get mauled.
  2. looking as if you are in any way related to the business of entertainment
    I don't even look like this guy and people talk to me and give me scripts and shit when I eat outside. It doesn't help to say "I am unemployed" — the person will just say "Think about it."
  3. drug dealer
    Everything is legal here as far as I can tell.
  4. street musician
    Nobody walks down the street. You'd have to settle for the occasional coin thrown from a moving vehicle.