ACCEPTABLE IDEAS FOR MY SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY, RANKED
In case any of you wanted to get ahead on your planning
- 1.PromThe tackier the better. I obviously am announced Queen at the end of the night & given a crown & sash. Some unlucky but attractive bastard is crowned king.
- 2.Wes AndersonEveryone dresses as a film character. Everything is symmetrical & there is a sign that reads "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARA" in the Futura Font. French music plays from a record player I do not own in the background.
- 3.PuppiesMy friends bring a shit ton of puppies to my house. I am filled with joy, but ultimately offend everyone there because I only care about the pup pups.
- 4.Saturday Night LiveJune 11th is a Saturday this year. The premise here is I'm the celebrity host of the episode. My friends write & perform comedy sketches & give me scripts to read as I go on to perform with them. I am flustered & could be way funnier if I had better prepared.
- 5.WhiplashPeople come in & yell abusive things at me while I am forced to practice the drums until my hands bleed. Traumatizing, but I am comforted to know that my love of this film is being appreciated.