JOBS I'M ACTUALLY QUALIFIED FOR*
*except probably not even. ** the job search is breaking my spirit guys
- •One Direction Tabloid Fact CheckerEssentially it just involves a very dedicated Google search, but I do have strong writing skills & 3+ years of experience
- •Social Unskills TrainerFor girls who seem to attract dudes like flies, let me bestow some of my intuition & practice onto you! Over ten years experience (tbh didn't have great luck in elementary either, but that gets to a creepy place)
- •Personal Facebook Management AssistantI will monitor & edit your posting for you so you come across as A)Funny, B) Moderately successful, C) Not a bigot, & D) Not too liberal for your family. 4 years experience!
- •Micro scale App Marketing"have you heard of the List App?" - me whenever there is a lull in conversation
- •Voice Talent of a Wildly Unpopular PodcastPartially because my voice is grating. Also because my interests are far too varied. Mostly because I always laugh at my own jokes.
- •Part Time Life CoachPRO: you don't have to pay for my benefits CON: I get you really excited on starting to fix your life & then don't follow through with you. RESUME: a life time of half-assing it.