Divorced for over a year, I finally joined match and went on my first date in 32 years.
  1. He was clearly drunk when I arrived (words were being slurred)
  2. Ok so, chill, it's happy hour, give the (handsome) guy a chance
  3. I order one glass of Pinot Grigio
  4. He tells me to order something to eat because we are going to be doing tequila shots later.
  5. I say no tequila for me thanks, but I'll have the fish tacos since I am hungry
  6. His dimples are adorable
  7. Great band is playing
  8. Wow this is not a bad date
  9. He takes a bite of one of my tacos
  10. He does this dance - I ask him if Justin Bieber taught him his moves
  11. He does this eye roll thing while describing his life. He does too many times. He is slurring his words again. It's bothering me now. He's complaining about his fat ex wife.
  12. Stop eating my damn tacos. Get your own food.
  13. He has his hands on my waist and gives me a sloppy kiss.
  14. He looks me in the eyes and says, so, tell me, why did you let yourself go?
  15. He then proceeds to tell me I could use to lose 10-20 pounds.
  16. I look him square in the eyes and say I could use to lose you! (Spoken like Cher in Moonstruck)
  17. I grab my things to leave, he grabs my arm and says wait don't go.
  18. I walk out leaving him the rest of my taco and my untouched 2nd glass of Pinot. Oh -and the check.