SHAMEFUL THINGS I'VE DONE TO GET ATTENTION

Apparently I used to try really hard to be a human party favor. It also appears that I was trying to prove how "manly" I was to impress boys. Fortunately now I'm not as concerned with impressing people.
  1. Set my hands on fire
    It was actually kind of fun and exhilarating
  2. Play strip beer pong
    I was surprisingly good despite my typical lack of hand eye coordination, so I was always getting the other team to lose their clothes.
  3. Drink two bottles of beer at once
    I used to be able to tip two bottles of beer back and drink from both without spilling a drop. Not as shameful. I need to relearn this skill.
  4. Put in a dip (snuff or whatever) while smoking a cigarette and then take a shot of whiskey
    Disgusting. I now take nicotine free shots of Whiskey and I'm ok with it.
  5. Wear men's cologne and then shame men for finding it attractive
    Kinda shitty of me, but it was a fun sport in itself.