Reasons to stay on the toilet for a lil bit longer

  1. Ur butthole needs some more time to set itself back to neutral
  2. Take the time to inspect your toenails from this angle. Maybe they need to be clipped?? Yeah, they definitely need to be clipped
  3. You should swipe through 10 more Tinder pics before u get up to feel more productive
  4. If you hang around you might be able to get more out
  5. Ur not done listening to your podcast
  6. You're not looking forward to wiping so you wanna put it off a little longer
  7. U don't wanna go back to work so you'd rather sit on the toilet not doing anything
  8. You have some life mysteries to ponder and here's a good place to do so
  9. Just because