I HAD TO CHECK MY PHONE BECAUSE

  1. I just wanna check my insta likes.
  2. Need to take a quick look at Twitter. New verified follower!
  3. Quick look at huffpo. Omg look, that cat knows how to cook soup over an open flame!
  4. Has anyone professed their love for me over text? Oh.
  5. How about now?
  6. Now?
  7. Right now?
  8. Troll the Facebook feed/contribute to the assault of the antivaxers.
  9. Tweet something clever.
  10. Check texts for professions post tweet.
  11. Write list.